I look better in my photographs than I do in real life.
I know this, and i'm okay with it.
[And Tyra said it herself, modeling is about looking better in photographs than you do in real life]
I don't think I claim to be better looking than I really am,
and to tell you the truth, I don't know why anyone ever find me attractive
in any sense.
I dunno, I guess I'm just not my type.
No, I'm not fishing for compliments.
Or anything of that nature, that's lame.
It's just been brought to my attention this weekend
that many people think I am 'self-centered' and that I think that I'm 'hott'.
To this, I laugh.
Because anyone that really knows me,
knows that my self esteem is all pretend.
knows that I constantly put the happiness of others infront of my own,
as much as I preach the importance of making yourself happy before making other people happy.
To me, I think the most I have to offer anyone are my thoughts.
My thoughts, theorys, etc, are so much bigger than my head and my body.
As much as I don't give a fuck about what people think of me,
I care far too much.
I know I have borderline personality disorders,
I know that I constantly contradict myself,
This is because I really do believe I am two people living in one body.
Fun Selena, and Smart Selena.
Fun Selena acts dumb for fun.
Smart Selena is the reason I am not dead yet.
Honestly, I am one of THE most insecure people you will ever meet.
Do I let you know that?
Hell no.
Why?
Because I'm a strong individual.
There are only a few people that I let see the real me.
I don't like being vulnerable.
I don't date because dating would mean that I have to let more people see who I really am.
And I don't want to.
So, moral of the story.
I know I'm not 'hott' or anything like that.
I'm not self-centered,
Even though this post is all about me, haha, I feel like everyone
has the right to defend themselves.
I honestly hate talking about myself,
and I hate when people ask me questions about who I am.
Find out for yourself.
I act the way I do, because if I acted the way I feel I'd be boring,
and no one would want to be my friend.
Hell, even my friends don't want to be my friends, haha.
So yeah.
I'm not pretty.
I'm not a fun person.
But damnit, I'll sure as hell pretend to be to entertain you.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
