So so so today I got my acceptance letter from USM!! :] Pretty stoked. I've gotten into two schools out of the seven I ended up applying to. The fact that I haven't been rejected from anywhere yet makes me so happy. I don't really want to go to either of the schools I've been accepted to [USM and Shoreline CC] but it's good to know that no matter what, I have a plan for next year.
I'll probably hear back from Suffolk on monday, thank god. that's my top choice school, followed by Worcester.
I'm ungrounded next weekend, and I can't wait.
I have a photoshoot on the 29th.
I'm not wasting anytime.
I can't wait to get back to the real world.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
selena rox and the undeniable truth
"cut your losses while you can still hold your head up high"
is what they told me,
but these wise words fell upon my ears;
deafened by false pretenses-
and secret relations kept behind closed doors.
now it's plain to see that i've been the fool-
falling apart over a settlement,
that keeps me coming back for more.
for weeks i've pretended like it didn't matter-
fronted like i didn't care.
i was merely saving face-
the one that drew you in a couple months ago.
at this point it's safe to say that i'm just another dumb girl-
too naive to see that she was just like the rest,
too proud to consider it possible,
and now too weak to stand her ground.
As much as I tell myself that i won't sink that low again,
i find myself drowning in your sea of temptation.
once everyone else has fallen asleep,
once everyone else has left the apartment,
it's just you and me,
and the sunrise,
over an inevitable horizon of regret.
I've gone above and beyond,
to be good to you.
I've risked it all,
and lost.
You once told me that you respected me,
as a person,
as a woman,
and as your friend.
But I guess after all was said and done,
you didn't find me worthy of it.
I can only imagine that is why we never talk anymore.
I know that communication is a two-way street,
but I think I've put in enough effort as it is.
The worst part of all is that,
I wouldn't respect me, either.
I am filth.
I am damaged.
I am dirty.
I am sin.
is what they told me,
but these wise words fell upon my ears;
deafened by false pretenses-
and secret relations kept behind closed doors.
now it's plain to see that i've been the fool-
falling apart over a settlement,
that keeps me coming back for more.
for weeks i've pretended like it didn't matter-
fronted like i didn't care.
i was merely saving face-
the one that drew you in a couple months ago.
at this point it's safe to say that i'm just another dumb girl-
too naive to see that she was just like the rest,
too proud to consider it possible,
and now too weak to stand her ground.
As much as I tell myself that i won't sink that low again,
i find myself drowning in your sea of temptation.
once everyone else has fallen asleep,
once everyone else has left the apartment,
it's just you and me,
and the sunrise,
over an inevitable horizon of regret.
I've gone above and beyond,
to be good to you.
I've risked it all,
and lost.
You once told me that you respected me,
as a person,
as a woman,
and as your friend.
But I guess after all was said and done,
you didn't find me worthy of it.
I can only imagine that is why we never talk anymore.
I know that communication is a two-way street,
but I think I've put in enough effort as it is.
The worst part of all is that,
I wouldn't respect me, either.
I am filth.
I am damaged.
I am dirty.
I am sin.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
An excellent day for Selena Rox
so, today in physics, I went to turn on my calculator, because we were taking this HUGE test on relativity and the speed of light.
my calculator was dead.
fml.
i told mr. pressley this.
and he said "Selena, why does god hate you so much??!"
and I said "I don't know, Mr. Pressley, I really don't know!"
and then we chuckled. and he let me borrow a calculator.
so i came home, and there is a letter for me from the IRS.
I was like "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH GOD?!"
and then I opened it, and found that my mum messed up the numbers on my tax forms...
she said that they owed me 300 or so doll-hairs.
but really, they owe me $542!!!
YAY YAY YAY!
Granted, this money is going to my mum to pay off my speeding ticket.... but hey!
If you look at it my way, it's like the speeding ticket never happened now... if you close your eyes and pretend that I'm not grounded and that I still have my licensce!!
my calculator was dead.
fml.
i told mr. pressley this.
and he said "Selena, why does god hate you so much??!"
and I said "I don't know, Mr. Pressley, I really don't know!"
and then we chuckled. and he let me borrow a calculator.
so i came home, and there is a letter for me from the IRS.
I was like "WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH GOD?!"
and then I opened it, and found that my mum messed up the numbers on my tax forms...
she said that they owed me 300 or so doll-hairs.
but really, they owe me $542!!!
YAY YAY YAY!
Granted, this money is going to my mum to pay off my speeding ticket.... but hey!
If you look at it my way, it's like the speeding ticket never happened now... if you close your eyes and pretend that I'm not grounded and that I still have my licensce!!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
selena rox makes music in the bedroom ;]
so i've been working on a couple songs in the bedroom while i've been grounded.
And through writing, i've discovered that my ability to write song titles is top notch,
but my actual lyric production? eh, not so much.
here is an example:
"I'm more epic than fucking Beowulf ever thought he was"
this song would be, well, epic as fuck.
but i can't quite follow through with my lyrics.
and it's pissin' me off.
And through writing, i've discovered that my ability to write song titles is top notch,
but my actual lyric production? eh, not so much.
here is an example:
"I'm more epic than fucking Beowulf ever thought he was"
this song would be, well, epic as fuck.
but i can't quite follow through with my lyrics.
and it's pissin' me off.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
selenarox; and the graduation dreams
So, I've got graduation on the brain.
Mainly because I can NOT wait to do it.
And my subconcious has been playing into my interest in graduation.
In the past month alone, I have had two very strange graduation dreams.
The first one:
The first one, was like, a weird conference??
Everyone that was graduating was sitting in an ampatheatre, and the relatives were hanging out in the lobby. the top of the seating was where the presenter was, with a curtain. Behind the curtain, were kids that had gone to our school, in our grade, at some point over the past 4 years, but were not graduating with us, i.e. they moved or stayed back or something.
A kid would emerge from the curtain and give a speech about the person who was about to graduate, (this girl was my best friend when I went here, blah blah, truely great, blah blah) and then present them with the diploma. As I watched this happen, I was talking to the person sitting next to me, and I just said "Wow, how much you want to bet that Levi has to present me?" joking. Levi and I were best friends, we kind of dated, and "were in love" at some points or another, blah blah waste of my life blah blah.
And from behind the curtain, comes out Levi, and he just says "this girl ruined my life, and doesn't deserve anything." and he burned my diploma! And said "fuck you, Selena Rox." and I stood up and was like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and he just ran out, so I chased him, screaming, "HOW COULD YOU FUCK ME OVER LIKE THIS AGAIN?!" and I ran out to the lobby, and I lost him, and I saw my mum and I was enraged. I walked into this office room, it's the office room in Macy's department store, where my mum used to work, and I just destroyed the room.
Second dream:
So I was hanging out with my friends in RI, and I got home late on the night of graduation. Everyone at my house had already left, except my 13 year old cousin. for some reason, I was wearing flip-flops, and all I saw available to use to get to graduation was a tricycle. so her i am, wearing flip-flops, driving a tricycle to my graduation, and my cousin, who can drive, apparently, just drove next to me. Did I mention that it had rained recently, so the moon is shining off the pavement? (I have very vivid detailed dreams) and I just kept asking her to just let me drive with her and she was like
"Nah. You got this."
and I was like "...WTF?! You're only going to watch ME graduate, which I can't do I don't get there on time." and she was just like
"Naaaw. Seriously. You got this. You'll make it. I promise. I have faith in you." and then she drove off! and I was alone, riding a plastic big wheeled tricycle, in flip-flops, in the dark, on my wet street.
Mainly because I can NOT wait to do it.
And my subconcious has been playing into my interest in graduation.
In the past month alone, I have had two very strange graduation dreams.
The first one:
The first one, was like, a weird conference??
Everyone that was graduating was sitting in an ampatheatre, and the relatives were hanging out in the lobby. the top of the seating was where the presenter was, with a curtain. Behind the curtain, were kids that had gone to our school, in our grade, at some point over the past 4 years, but were not graduating with us, i.e. they moved or stayed back or something.
A kid would emerge from the curtain and give a speech about the person who was about to graduate, (this girl was my best friend when I went here, blah blah, truely great, blah blah) and then present them with the diploma. As I watched this happen, I was talking to the person sitting next to me, and I just said "Wow, how much you want to bet that Levi has to present me?" joking. Levi and I were best friends, we kind of dated, and "were in love" at some points or another, blah blah waste of my life blah blah.
And from behind the curtain, comes out Levi, and he just says "this girl ruined my life, and doesn't deserve anything." and he burned my diploma! And said "fuck you, Selena Rox." and I stood up and was like "WHAT THE FUCK?!" and he just ran out, so I chased him, screaming, "HOW COULD YOU FUCK ME OVER LIKE THIS AGAIN?!" and I ran out to the lobby, and I lost him, and I saw my mum and I was enraged. I walked into this office room, it's the office room in Macy's department store, where my mum used to work, and I just destroyed the room.
Second dream:
So I was hanging out with my friends in RI, and I got home late on the night of graduation. Everyone at my house had already left, except my 13 year old cousin. for some reason, I was wearing flip-flops, and all I saw available to use to get to graduation was a tricycle. so her i am, wearing flip-flops, driving a tricycle to my graduation, and my cousin, who can drive, apparently, just drove next to me. Did I mention that it had rained recently, so the moon is shining off the pavement? (I have very vivid detailed dreams) and I just kept asking her to just let me drive with her and she was like
"Nah. You got this."
and I was like "...WTF?! You're only going to watch ME graduate, which I can't do I don't get there on time." and she was just like
"Naaaw. Seriously. You got this. You'll make it. I promise. I have faith in you." and then she drove off! and I was alone, riding a plastic big wheeled tricycle, in flip-flops, in the dark, on my wet street.
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