just another day in the life of Selena Rox

So, what kind of internet user that writes down their thoughts for the world to see would I be if I didn't eventually get a blog?

I hate the fact that Selena Gomez got famous. for gods sake, I couldn't get my name as my url because I'm assuming some teenybopper has it. and their blogs are probably all "zomg Selena Gomez iz lyke sow hawt && kewl && zomg I lyke luv her and stuff!!!1! LOL."

pissin' me off.
I remember when I was a kid I wanted to become famous,
so that way people would stop saying "Oh, like that famous singer that died and JLo played her in a movie??"
And I still get that a lot.
And I know that shortly,
someone I meet will just utter the words that will throw me into such a rage,
the moment will happen,
and their mouth and words will be in slow mo'
and my eyes will zoom in,
and only see their mouth move as they say
"Oh, Like Selena Gomez?"
and those will most likely be that last words they ever say.
...
okay probably not.
I'll probably just make one of my faces and say surly-ly
"Yes, like Selena Gomez...fuck my life."


I feel like there is a lot of pressure on this blog I am writing right now.
Like.
This is the first one.
I mean, sure I can always delete it later,
but I mean, a first time should be special, ya know?
so I'm trying my best to be awesome,
and not boring,
but gentle, too.

Random people keep friend requesting me on facebook,
not complaining, it's just strange.
A lot of my family is now on facebook,
as well as teachers that I hold near and dear to my heart,
so I find that I must censor myself a lot.
Because even though I'm the type of person who's favorite swear word is fuck,
I'm not going to go putting that in my status anymore
because I don't want them to think less of me.
These are people who to me, their opinions matter the most.
I have so much respect for them.

Oh.
And slowly but surely, I'm giving up on Maine boys/guys/men.
I can't help but feel like I'm either wasting my time,
or everything they say is just a clever game.
and I'm over games.

My life, to me, is a movie.
Eventually I'll have some great romantic plot,
but right now, I'm not feeling it.
Everytime I think I'm close to something
with potential to be great,
I get let down.
or I get scared and fuck everything up.

I'm always amazed by the amount of people that:
care about me, think about me, read and are interested in the things I write, talk to me, want to get to know me, think I'm pretty, want me to be around.

it's always just so surreal to me.
I like the way people know stuff about me,
after only meeting me once,
like they really noticed me,
or listened to something i said,
that even though I didn't think it was a big deal,
they remembered it.
it's amazing.

So I have to go get ready for my second-to-last day at work right now.
So I suppose I'll end this now.

So hey, everybody, my name is Selena Rox, and I'm a legit blogger now.