selena rox and the undeniable truth

"cut your losses while you can still hold your head up high"
is what they told me,
but these wise words fell upon my ears;
deafened by false pretenses-
and secret relations kept behind closed doors.

now it's plain to see that i've been the fool-
falling apart over a settlement,
that keeps me coming back for more.
for weeks i've pretended like it didn't matter-
fronted like i didn't care.
i was merely saving face-
the one that drew you in a couple months ago.

at this point it's safe to say that i'm just another dumb girl-
too naive to see that she was just like the rest,
too proud to consider it possible,
and now too weak to stand her ground.

As much as I tell myself that i won't sink that low again,
i find myself drowning in your sea of temptation.
once everyone else has fallen asleep,
once everyone else has left the apartment,
it's just you and me,
and the sunrise,
over an inevitable horizon of regret.

I've gone above and beyond,
to be good to you.
I've risked it all,
and lost.
You once told me that you respected me,
as a person,
as a woman,
and as your friend.
But I guess after all was said and done,
you didn't find me worthy of it.
I can only imagine that is why we never talk anymore.
I know that communication is a two-way street,
but I think I've put in enough effort as it is.

The worst part of all is that,
I wouldn't respect me, either.
I am filth.
I am damaged.
I am dirty.
I am sin.